Bad Company by Joshua C. Chadd

Author:Joshua C. Chadd [Chadd, Joshua C.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: zombies
Publisher: Blade of Truth Publishing Company
Published: 2018-07-06T16:00:00+00:00

21

The Cost

of Survival

James pushed out the front doors and stomped around to the side of the building. Why couldn’t they see that they needed to leave? It was the only way they could survive this. He wanted to scream at them, to scream at the sky. If they pursued the Reclaimers, it would end in death. Even if the Reclaimers didn’t kill them, he’d have to kill again. He’d have to end someone else’s life, and he didn’t want to do that anymore.

Every time he took someone’s life, a small piece of him died, and he didn’t like who he was becoming. He thought back to a few days before when they’d seen the smoke on their first run. Sure, it could’ve been the Reclaimers. It could’ve been another trap. In fact, that seemed even more likely now. Yet, he still felt they should’ve checked it. Someone could’ve needed help, and they’d just turned a blind eye. That was exactly what he wasn’t supposed to do. It wasn’t who he wanted to be, but in the moment it’d been exactly what he’d wanted to do, just like the ones who’d passed by the injured Samaritan on the road to Jericho. He’d hardened his heart and ignored the calling deep within.

He was straying down a dark path, and he didn’t know if he’d ever be able to turn back from it. It wasn’t a path he wanted to walk but one that had been forced on him by their circumstances. The apocalypse left them with few choices, and if they wanted to survive, that would entail the taking of lives. Even if the lives he took were evil, it was still someone’s life. He’d been raised and taught to honor life, to protect those who couldn’t protect themselves, but never to kill. Connor had been trained to kill, and his mindset was already like that before the Corps, but not James. In the past, James had known he could do what needed to be done in self-defense, but not everything they’d done had been in self-defense. They’d hunted down human beings and killed them.

It was taking a toll on him, and he realized now that he’d never be the same. Was that for better or worse? Was it making him into something he needed to be or something he shouldn’t be? Would he ever be able to live the life God had set out before him with who he was becoming? Did that even matter anymore? Question after question piled up in his mind and he sank down onto one of the swings behind the infirmary. There was a whole playground back there, and the sign out front indicated this had been a school at one time. Not anymore. It had been a place of learning, and now it was an infirmary—a place of pain and death. But its purpose was not to cause pain or death. Its purpose was to heal those who were in pain. He was in pain, so shouldn’t this be the place where he came for healing? Yet, it wasn’t that kind of pain.

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